It might sounds odd but lately I wanted to want something so badly, without knowing what that is.
I always want what I can`t have, but I hv `everything` , so I don`t know what else I want. I felt a little bit less motivated and needed an extra boost. I needed a different approach to motivation:
I hv done a deal with my skates! We agreed to go without each other for a whole month to see what life would be like that way, and to experience wanting something very badly. When something becomes unavailable, it becomes 100 times more desirable. I wanted to use this negative motivation to my advantage, to make positive impact on my life. This is a typical solo-sohigh attitude. I think it would help me grow. Gotta say, the past month was pretty dull.
I was in agony, every day I wanted my other half more and more, my suitcase wouldn`t behave either, knocked over this random fellah`s bike on the train, trying to escape. Absolutely chaos. But I knew when it`s done, the experience will generate enthusiasm in me, the first session is gonna be something I looked forward, I will be super excited and it will give me more joy and compensate me for the suffering.
That session went down this week in Mcr which was in the same time the last one I had in the Uk this year. Soon I will B embarking on a long tour, which I`d still prefer to keep in secret. The flyer and all the details are on it`s way, and it will be revealed in my next post!
The one thing I can tell you is the reason why I`m doing it.
Reading all the above it might not comes as a surprise that something very negative lead me to it.
I hv to say I was very disappointed to get to know I`m not welcomed at this certain comp I always wanted to take part in. In fact I would be kicked out if I tried to go. That confirmed by a skater owned shop. I don`t normally moved by competitions, just like it on my own, away from it all, but this one is special for a reason. I decided to show them it`s fine, in fact I can skate Anywhere Else in the world, and everywhere I go ppl probably will be happy to catch up, because our shared love in skating makes us family, those who love to skate love to share their passion.
Every time I’m let down or made fun of I just embrace it. Negative motivation will always get me where I want to go. To find out where I`m going this time come back to check the flyer later on this month.