This post will bring my secret to light why it was necessary to give up on the Round the world skate trip and why I was suddenly, forcefully slammed back into the reality of life.
So let`s travel back to the Chinese border, where the incident of kidnapping took place. I kept myself so busy that I didn’t have time to have those negative feelings. The bad memories have faded in my mind little bit. I kept pushing even harder and moved on even though my emotions had not been completely resolved. So had 2 carry the story of a helpless victim, the baggage of the past…
After all I dared crossing the Chinese border I had an exciting journey through South East Asia. Thought after a storm comes a calm and nothing could go wrong, well it did. Some very rough storms developed. Still not passed, but I believe there`s no wind that always blows. Spring will come and I`ll continue to shine. I had immense amount of fun to start with. I naturally attract danger, I had few of those situations in the past few months. Everywhere I went I was in the middle of a dangerous adventure. At least I was aware. The higher u set ur aims the greater the danger is.
I was climbing the highest mountain peaks, trekking the deepest jungles, exploring the most dangerous deep in Asian waters. I made my way south along the scariest roads I’ve ever been on in my entire life. I fell in love with Laos, one of the most undeveloped and poorest countries on earth yet it became my top fav.
Explored the country on motorbike, so cool u don`t need a license here, first time was bit challenging tho`, it wasn`t a pink automatic scooter, normally no mirrors on either side and helmet on the head + break didn`t work. Ohh and did I mention the light? Once I had to stop for the night in a remote hilltribe village. Stuck there with the locals, went hunting with `em, worked my ass off on the ricefields, was carrying bamboosticks up the hill n teaching english to the kids, did few hours honest help every day in exchange for food and accom, so I could stay in their bungallow with the chix and pigs under the same roof, sleeping on animal skin. Good stuff.
I have also slept in weird places like on a floating rafthouse, other times waking up on the crater rim of a volcano, in a rainforest under a bananaleaf, which was kinda cool, except the monkeys got pretty aggressive, were stealing my stuff and one slapt me on the face. Also slept up on a tree once, that`s when I somehow broke my helmet into 3, my bycicle into 2 pieces while riding on a rocky road in a national park, with elephants and tigers roaming around freely. Judging from a visual observation the bike could not be used any more. Was bit freaky but someone picked me up the next day. I did have my breakdowns. I realized bike repair is an absolutely essential skill on the road.. Now easily can fix a broken chain, repair flat tire, remove a rear wheel and more..
Gotta mention my infamous crash too…
Sadly, 90% of People Who Get on Mopeds in Asia Die. Whoaa, I survived. I was trying to practice my moped skills, was prepared for some tough driving and a sore ass but u can never be prepared enough. I started to feel comfortable I came speeding down a hill and got ready to embark up the top of the next, but lost control of my vehicle and crashed my bike into a huge rock wall, came flying off my bike after hitting a string of potholes. Still best thing that could happen since the road was ever so narrow and on the other side was a deadly deep drop and a river. I Could have fallen several hundred feet down, could hv been fatal and a very popular video on youtube since I was wearing my gopro. Only adds to the fun , that the horn was stuck on and kids were laughing hard in the back. I think alltogether managed to break 3 bikes. If that`s not enough my skate broke too in Thailand and it took hell of a lot time and effort to fix `em but..succeeded. Meanwhile I did a 24km walk on the beach. Lost 2 of my toe-nails 1 during rockclimbing, and the other I can`t remember, so when my boots were ready 2 roll I needed healing.
My fav spot gotta be the Blue Lagoon in Laos up the road from the famous river tubing in Vang Vieng, the party mecca. Spent days jumping from tree branches into the deep water, climbing through caves, then came cool off in the lagoon..at least that was the plan. The pathway that lead me down was rather slippery and steep, but ventured deeper and deeper into this cave. Now one thing u must take with u when going to the jungle & caving is ur skates of course. And some spare batteries for the flash light- that I forgot and stuck deep down there for hours without light. To make matters even worse or more hilarious, this cave was shut that day. I climbed through the fence so that reduced my chances to be found. Much to my luck some tourist turned up and helped me out. Must add I had been shouting for 3-4 hours. That didn`t put me off skating the obstacles I found in the forest once we were out of the cave though! Hoho the best part was to slide a tree and land in a lagoon.. whooa.
So much happened in just one day, everyday, and I didn`t waste a minute of it! Ok maybe had some lazy days in Thailand and Cambodia on the beach as I moved on… I had the worst sunburn ever. Really thought my innner part were boiled…next few dayz couldn`t wear anything but a t-shirt. Not like it was a big issue in the hippie metropolis so just lazed around on a hammock watching the river trying to count and see if there really are, indeed 4000 tiny islands.
At xmas I had: No tree. No snow. No family. No friends. No turkey dinner. Yet was totally in the Xmas spirit. My Best n only gift was seeing the look of joy on those poor children`s faces who I shared my time, skills, money n food with. Priceless! New years eve was superb, in fact was so random and celebrated it for a whole week with lao ppl, drinking lao beer 24/7, I was dancing the night away at a night club with a freakin dog. As locals call out “sai ba dee” (hello) to me I made friends every minute. Had so many friends at once, house parties everyday at random places.. Caught up with some thai bladers too, who were travelling to Malaysia to meet me. We were hanging out in Kuala Lumpur, sadly never found the local skatepark, would like 2 mention we spent a whole day searching.
Went to see different kinda shows, discovered the ladyboy phenomenon in Bangkok, was completely traumatized after a lady boy exposed him/her ? self at a convenient store. Also checked a croc. show, this chap had a look inside their heads, and were kissing with a snake and stuff. But it all went wrong, what I remember there was blood everywhere, ahhh I got so shocked that managed to drop my key which landed in the cage where the crocodiles were chillin. It belonged to the motorbike I hired for the week meaning I was stuck. Tried to fish it back with a rod but no luck. The ambulance came for the injured chap and I tagged along with `em to the city, threw up on the way 3 times..
Everything is a shock here, like nothing you’ve ever seen or experienced before.. Check out this:
Met a monk at a temple while meditating, started chatting and went to visit him every day so our friendship developed. After `bout a week he escaped, dressed up nicely, put my skates on, we went out 2 dinner and I Got Engaged!! He was like my other half.. a real Rebel n loved blading.. The story didn`t hv a happy ending.. he got caught by his teacher at the night market while walking with me and was punished I believe.
And if u long for another shocking twist:
I tell u more `bout a wonderful experience. I enjoyed spending time with the elephants & had fun bathing them in the river. I always dreamed of meeting a baby elephant! I learnt how to feed, ride & bath them. Though, I was shocked to find out how the mahouts control them, train them to give rides, terrorise
and beat them in order to make them do tricks. They all seemed well looked after but these cruel training sessions will leave them badly injured. Please stand up for their rights & support their protection in wildlife sanctuaries! Hoping that the rescue centres will help bring all the rare animal species back to the wild.
So all of a sudden in Malaysia I was feeling very poorly and got into hospital. I had all the possible vaccinates before embarking on this journey, thought it can`t be that serious. So caught my flight to Indonesia but only to catch another one back. Could not meet the local riders in Jakarta, that broke my heart. I had no choice but to return back home. But What Happened?
There are certain health risks attached to travel in these regions, first I thought it was food poisoning, all caused by the junk food (rats, bugs) I ate, water I drank. That opened the door for infections and other problems. I was wrong. It always all boils down to emotions. There is nothing to catch! It’s a state of mind! ALL dis-ease… My body hears everything my mind says and I didn`t have the power over my mind-it was taken over by the outside events.
The trauma caused by kidnapping -I can`t forget those mother fuckers-and other sad, violent events I do not wish to talk about, left me with an empty hole I couldn`t fill. I was hiding from it. But the black hole was still there, the negative energies stayed with me, left marks in my psyche. My immune system turned upside down, my life energy is blocked n have a storm in the head. This is my body’s natural response to what happened, the psychological trauma manifested as a disease. I don`t appear to be a hard ass this time, can`t suck it up. It`s a silent killer. So I`ll do my best to defeat it. I have to be on a diet and most importantly gotta visit old wounds, solve my emotions and let go of what`s eating me.
I grieve cause I lost a bit of myself. I just want my normal back. I like being me. Hence I lost friends too. I decided to stay alone in a tiny village in England. I know it’s a very slow process and it’s going to take me a while to get all my strength back but I wait patiently. At least it`s a nice place to be ill. Will keep myself busy I have plenty of projects to work on already. Among all preparing for next year`s trip, yeah, will be making another attempt to tour the world!
I dared and I failed. Miserably. I`m disappointed, but I`m not about to give up on my dream. I`ll try again. Till I reach the end of the road. Failure is a big step on the road to success, they say. Only through different experience n suffering can a character developed and success achieved.
It means a lot to have so many people behind me in this and so many prayers going up for me.
Hope I`m back 2 my old self soon and get over this crap quick. Can`t wait to get back to that dreamy fun little world!
Until next time… X x