It’s full of cloudy secrets, that should be sorted.
Way too messy up here, can’t handle them all.
Some of them need to go, obviously keeping the dearest ones.
This place is dusty, there’s a secret window that I cannot access from inside. It’s just begging to have you come and discover its secrets. None knows ’bout these, some of them even hidden from me.
Never thought uncertainty would become a thing to fear.
Still unsure if I need an operation, n unaware of the diagnosis.
This is just driving me mad I have to admit. I hv never been this scared in my entire life. Although I tend to think that its gonna be all good in the end. „And if its not okay, its not the end.”
Just wanted to numb my pain and I know skating would cheer me up. Hv skated Liverpool, Chester n the streets of London lately quite a lot, and decided to go 2 Slammjam too. Thought it was gonna lift me up. Might do an edit soon. Since I was making my way from London, missed most of the comp in Lpool, but could skate a good hour which was good. So happy for the guys from MCR, they did very well!!
Didn’t want to go 2 the after party coz some idiot bleached my hair the other night while I was sleeping at a house party, and it was looking pretty bad even though I tried to fix it. So wasn’t prepared, but literally was forced to stay, dragged by the others to a hostel. Dropped my stuff there, had to sneak in though. Found a waste container in the garden I was so looking forward to skating the next day! There were 2 beds chucked out and some wooden bits, so could build a playground! This is my second favourite secret garden, which I will visit again soon! Everything was going well. I felt down, but didn’t let it ruin the day. So kept it in, along with the other secrets I decided to hide away. Yet everyone was so nice to me. It’s a good way to see whose there, not just when u need them. Had a fabulous time!
Somehow that night I felt safe, valued, and taken care of.
Found those ppl I can truly trust. Another secret I want to keep, locked in a giant box up in the attic. Have to B-more careful coming down from there. Fell down the stairs. Hard. My bum hurts so bad, I did actually hold it the next day, with no regard for who might be watching as I walked.Anyway off to skate now. It will help me to get my mind off of my fear. Will be back soon, and catch u up on my crazy life.